July 8, 2011
Lily Pond Lane

Celia shaded herself with a wide, floppy-brimmed hat that stretched out past her shoulders and nearly obscured her face when she wore it at an angle, like a model. She checked her bathing suit, making sure her cleavage was just so. Satisfied, she wrapped a sparking red sarong around waist and secured it a large diamond-encrusted brooch in the shape of a long-legged spider. It had been a gift to mother from an admirer during the days she sang opera in a small cabaret in the city. She looked at her toes, decided that she still liked the garnet color she painted them, and reached for the black, strappy stilettos sitting on a shelf filled with high-heeled shoes.

Celia only wore high heels. “They make my legs look so long and lean!” she thought while admiring herself in the full-length mirror. She slid a leg out from the slit in her sarong, bent the other leg so the exposed leg pivoted on her toes, and dramatically ran her fingers up her leg from her ankle to her hip, flipping her arm up into the air and tilting back her head. It was the end of a tango for one.

“Perfect!” she said, looking at the ceiling. “I am a star!”

Celia giggled to herself, did a little dance step with sweeping arm gestures, gathered her bag and her diary, and twirled into the next room. The room was once a great dining room with rare-wood furnishings, exquisitely decorated china, glittering crystal chandeliers and glasses, and deep burgundy velvet cushions. Very Important People used to come for dinner. Now the room was empty except for a long, cracked Formica table flanked with faded turquoise chairs accented with torn cushions, featuring tufts of stuffing and sleeping orange cats. The only sound that filled the great room was the echo of her pointy-heeled footsteps clicking softly past piles of newspapers and magazines.

“The day nurse was in the house. She can deal with Mother,” Celia thought. “But still…” Celia didn’t want Mother to hear her moving about, so she decided that it would be best to glide, not click, through the room. She slipped through the room like a silent-movie phantom with arms outstretched and hands and head tilted back. She navigated her way through the storage room that was once a kitchen, and silently exited the house through the back door.

Outside, she crept along the side of the mansion, arms still outstretched, lest Mother be sitting on the upper terrace and spy her. Celia made her way to the overgrown jumble of privot, wisteria, hydrangea and whatever else was growing along the fence and into the yard. There was a path beneath the overgrowth, and Celia followed it to an equally obscure clearing the back corner of the yard. She could see the house from here. She was certain that Mother, who couldn’t see past her own hand without her thick glasses, wouldn’t see her in the yard.

Celia sat down on a crumbling stone bench under an ancient dogwood tree. She drew her legs up beside her, removed her diary and a pen, and held the pen aloft, thinking of something to say. She was thankful that the afternoon heat was mild, and the bugs had opted for a different part of the garden.

As Celia turned her gaze toward the house, she saw Mother emerge onto the terrace. Her long white hair was piled high on her head behind a tiara, and she wore a faded, ill-fitting opera gown that wouldn’t close in the back, and hung perilously around her bosom.

Mother walked unsteadily to the terrace railing, turned three quarters, placed her left hand on the railing, and the right to her chest. She surveyed the yard with a dramatic turn of the head.

“So it’s going to be one of those days,” Celia thought. “Mother’s going to be the opera diva with the nasty temper.”

The nurse nervously followed Mother outside, pleading with her to come back in. Mother waved her off. “My audience will be disappointed if I don’t give them an encore,” she stage whispered.

Mother turned and faced the empty yard. She saw lights and heard thunderous applause and “bravas” from an adoring crowd. Mother smiled gratefully, nodding her head to various parts of the garden.

“Oh!” she exclaimed clasping her hands to chest, pushing the low-hanging gown down even further with her fleshy arms. “As long as you continue to love me, I will never cease to love you!” Mother spread her arms out wide as if graciously accepting the well-groomed audience’s adulation rather than the silence of an overgrown, junglish garden. Her gown miraculously stayed in place as Mother bowed, blew kisses to every corner of the garden, made a grand, wobbly curtsey, and stepped backwards into the house, waving.

Celia glanced back to her diary with its blank, yellowing pages; her arm was still posed in the air. She looked over her shoulder to the back of the garden, then back at the diary. She licked the pen and was about to start writing when she heard Mother’s shrill, operatic voice from inside the house calling, “Ceeeeeeelia! Celeeeah! Ceeeeelia!”

Celia simultaneously snapped shut her diary and unclicked her pen before stowing them away in her purse. She stood up, raised her arms overhead in a stretch, and returned to house as strangely as she had emerged, all the while repeating, “I am a star! A star, I am! I’m a star!”

[Three Word Wednesday submission using the words cease, nasty and heat.]

September 15, 2010
Learning to Flirt

She’d been called many things – haughty, rude, snippy and even volatile – but demure had never been one of them. “I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said, rubbing the hot spot on his cheek where he could feel the outline of her hand rising.

[Three Word Wednesday submission using the words demure, offend and volatile.]

September 9, 2010
The Eyes Have It

“I always find the blue ones to be too cold, whether they’re roasted, grilled, seared or served in a rich béchamel sauce,” he said in between chewing his food and inserting another piece of prime roast between his lips and running the fork across his teeth.

He sat at the head of the table, clad in a burgundy dinner coat over a ruffled, white blouse. A mess of perfectly oiled and curled black hair sat atop his pear-shaped head. His full, black eyebrows nearly obscured his smallish, close-set blue eyes, which he shielded with tiny, rectangular blue-tinted glasses. His nose rose like a pink peak from two billowy, ruddy cheeks. Beneath his tamed and waxed mustache, which curled out comically at the ends, small, red puckered lips emerged.

He held himself with esteem of one who finds his charms immensely pleasurable and cannot fathom how they could be lost on anyone except those given to boorish and unfortunate life lots.

“The green ones,” he said, holding his knife and fork aloft like a maestro with stubby sausage fingers attached to fleshy ham-hock hands, “have a fresh, nearly ripened quality – a roundness of flavor, if you will. I find them most refreshing in the spring with a rocket-and-Pecorino salad, or as a mid-summer treat with squab.”

He sliced into the glistening slab of meat, letting the silver scrape across the plate’s white porcelain surface. He raised the cut, puckered his mouth open and pushed the morsel in; gravy dripped down his chin. He raised his glass of red wine, took a gulp and set it on the table. Oily finger prints shone in the candle light.

“But the brown ones,” he said, his voice trailing, “So robust, so flavorful, so…aahhh…bravisimo!” He sat back, put one paw across his stomach, and kissed the finger tips of his other hand. “The browns’ flavors could be woody, sweet, earthy or savory. They melt in your mouth and are perfect with a red wine reduction. Autumn is the best time for the browns.”

He surveyed the feast laid out in front of him on the oaken table piled so high with roasted game, succulent root vegetables, aromatic breads and rich cheeses that the guests couldn’t see each other across it save for the shadows they cast on the opposite walls of the wine cellar by the baroque candelabras.

He sat back and ran his fingers across the outline of his lips, musing. “Autumn is my favorite time of year,” he announced. His proclamation was answered with a chorus of “Oh, yes,” “Hmm!” and “Absolutely!” As he sat forward in his intricately carved, wooden chair with the plush velvet cushions, and surveyed the guests, he noticed the curly auburn-haired woman sitting two chairs down from him on his right. She looked at him confidently, listening to his oratory and daintily picking at the food on her plate. No one else at the table would look at him directly, but she didn’t blink or shy away.

He leaned down the table to get a better look. His shirt cuff rested in the gravy bowl, but he didn’t seem to notice. “And you, my dear. You are?” he asked.

“Charlotte,” she said as she picked up a sliver of meat from her dish and popped it into her mouth.

“And your eyes,” he said, leaning ever further, spilling the gravy, “What color are they? I have never seen eyes like yours before.”

“Hazel,” she said. “I hear they taste like caramels.”


[Three Word Wednesday submission using the words charm, robust and feast.]

September 1, 2010
Nature’s Golden Ratio

Ernie sits on a park bench and watches her eat lunch. He’s been coming out to the park every day for three months to sit across from her quietly ever since the day he saw her after he was let go from his job as a copywriter for an Internet marketing firm.

“Don’t take it personally,” the manager told him. “The entire department is being let go.”

Ernie took it personally until he saw her sitting there, under a tree, alternately taking diminutive bites of her sandwich and flipping the pages of her book. He sat down across from her, took his phone out and pretended to check his email while watching her. She seemed so serene and oblivious to the chaos on the streets around her: Men having heated business conversations on their phones as they walked by, college students laughing and shoving each other and the man two benches down covered in pigeons.

Ernie returned the following day and she was there. He watched her from above the pages of the book he held. He returned the day after and the day after that. She was consistent and he admired that. Every day she sat at the same bench, crossed her ankles and removed the contents of her lunch bag: An egg salad and lettuce sandwich on whole wheat, wrapped in wax paper, a pink thermos filled with tea, three gingersnap cookies and a hardback book. Ernie liked to imagine that the books were about science – not science fiction like he enjoyed reading, but loftier topics such as calculating negative angles in astronomy or the fundamentals of celestial mechanics. He entertained the idea that this woman with long, white-blonde hair, delicate features and small hands had more going on beneath the surface than people credited her for, and he imagined her life: She was an amateur astronomer who lived alone in the East Village and could say “moon” in 10 different languages; she was fluent in Russian, French and Czech; and on weekends, she performed with an underground circus troupe as an aerialist and fire eater, sometimes combining both into one act. She also had a fantastic singing voice, despite the fire eating.

As Ernie watches her, noticing her pale-pink painted nails (she must have gotten a manicure over the weekend), a pigeon lands on his shoulder and he lets it sit there. He doesn’t want to move suddenly, break the serenity of their lunchtime ritual and call attention to himself. He desperately wants to talk to her, hear her voice as she says her name and feel her skin against his as they shake hands for the first time, but he doesn’t want to destroy his image of her with the truth, and he certainly doesn’t want to explain why he’s sitting on a park bench, dressed as a squirrel.

[Three Word Wednesday submission using the words break, negative and surface.]

May 2, 2010
Subway Prophet

Tall and lanky, sporting canary yellow hair (obviously not his natural color) swept up in a pompadour, and arched, primary-red eyebrows that match the red beard that accentuates his angular face, he steps onto the train with a bike wrapped in duct tape and outfitted with a small motor. Sitting on the blue bench of the Six Train, wearing rolled up jeans with green suspenders, a plaid shirt and high black boots with white socks, he looks around at the other passengers, gets their attention, raises his eyebrows and a grunts a greeting – or is it a comment? The fluorescent light of the train makes his hair glow.

At the second stop, he stands up, looks around, stretches his arm up above his head and plunges it into the bag attached to the bike’s handle bars. Like a magician, he pulls out an apple, inspects it closely, grunts and sits back down. He holds the apple out at arm’s length and then brings it close to his right eye. He does it again, only now bringing it to his left eye. Then he places the apple on top of his yellow head and stares directly in front of him. The passenger across the aisle – a young, rail-thin woman on her way home from work, reading a book entitled “How to Ignite Your Passion” – gets up and moves. He grunts. She rolls her eyes.

I can’t help but wonder what he does all day, or what events led to the evolution of a pop-art eccentric. Was he a former CEO of a Fortune 500 who finally snapped from the grind and decided to seek out a carefree (albeit rather strange) existence? A performance artist who got so do deep into character he never re-emerged? Or, was it possible, somehow possible, that he was born with yellow hair and red facial hair?

I go back to reading my magazine, and don’t notice when a group of drunken college students get on the train. They are quiet at first, but then get louder – especially when they notice the yellow-haired man wearing an apple as a hat. They try to suppress their snickers and jeers, but everyone on the train can hear them. “I wonder what he does with a banana?” one of them says in a stage whisper.

I look up from my magazine and notice that he is watching the students, who stand in a circle around a subway pole, wearing matching khaki shorts, jewel-colored polo shirts with popped collars and faded, backwards baseball hats. They are sunburned and unstable with the train’s movements, and still laughing and making jokes about the yellow-haired man.

The yellow-haired man stands up, his eyes narrowed at the students, his eyebrows pitched into angles. He stretches out his right arm, flicks his wrist and reaches for the apple on his head. He then stretches out his arm, extends the apple toward the group of young men, brings it back to his mouth and chomps into it.

“Rotten,” he says in a low, growly voice. “Rotten!” he says louder, apple bits spewing from his mouth. “Your core, your core is rotten! A ha-ha-ha-ha!”

The young men stop talking and look at him in half horror, half rage that someone who looked like him would talk to them.

He chomps into the apple again. “Your souls are rotten! Your seed shall never fruit!” he proclaims, spitting apple parts all over the subway car. And he begins to laugh, not an evil-villain laugh, but the laugh of someone who knows how the movie ends because he wrote it.

As the train slows down, he turns his bike toward the exit door. “Come along, chariot!” he announces, striding through the doors as they open. I watch him depart the train from the corner of my eye.

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